Friday, February 15, 2013
Where Have I been and Where are the Quotes, Well, More Back Surgery and two Quotes!
I know I have been absent of late but if you read this you will see two quotes, not one and I hope this cathartic post will resonate with many of you who suffer from chronic pain.
Well its official, I'm having more back surgery Feb 27th. My back has only been getting worse and the docs say this should relive a good amount of suffering. I'm not gonna lie, I'm worried and anxious, as the last surgery I had didn't do a thing except really deteriorate my confidence in back surgery....but this is different and there will be no going back. It must be done,
I need to do a fusion and fortunately I found a place that does this endoscopically, in a same day surgery center. They say I could b back to work in as little as 4-6 weeks. I'm thinking more like 2 months as I don't want to be optimistic and give my hopes up. I'm doing this for two reasons. Me, i am tired of this pain every day that has been with me since 2009 (on and off since 1999 mind you) and 2nd my family, especially Papo (aka Walter Jr). He wont remember a thing because he is so young and I want to run and play without reservations with him as he grows. Nietzsche said, He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how. Papo and Yanira (my wife) have been my Why.
I'm looking forward to it but I am worried at the same time, this isn't the same old fusion and its 2 levels and best of all its all endoscopic. So in theory, its only 1 disk that actually moves as the other is the sacrum, so i don't loose much mobility.
Why am I blabbering, maybe just to calm my nerves, garner moral support etc...Anyway if you have read this far, thanks for your support, prays, well wishes, invocations, incense burning etc...ill appreciate it and need it. To put it simply, Pain is terrible and constant pain is terrible and maddening. I know others out there have it worse, i really do see that. I'm not paralyzed nor will be due to this surgery. Its an l4/5 fusion. Your spinal cord stops at L2. I'm not W/c bound at all. The doc says my back will be stronger and i can jog again and even go back to the medical field as an EMT which i have been for 16 years, not that i would want to since why put my brand new back through such work again. The jogging will resume....I will be so relived when I can start running again.
OK i have babbled long enough. There it is, its out there. Maybe i will feel better sharing as the Swedish proverb says, a shared joy is a double joy and a shared sorrow is only a half sorrow.
Thanks for reading!